TV Review: Desperate Housewives
By: Leticia Jeter
What’s more irritating? Susan Mayer (Teri Hatcher) or a case of crabs? Although last night’s episode was boring, ABC’s “Desperate Housewives” sparked a few questions, and keeping with Wisteria Lane tradition, left them unanswered…for now.
The fourth season has not been as entertaining and ridiculous as the first three, but this week’s episode went over the edge in predictability, leaving you hoping that next Sunday at 9 p.m. there will be some sort of surprise.
“Desperate Housewives” looks like the perfect neighborhood, where people pretend to live perfect lives. The acting is executed so well that you forget how outlandish the plots are as you become consumed by the characters and storylines. Unfortunately, this season has yet to create any true drama.
“Desperate Housewives” is about hot housewives living anything but drab lives; at least that’s what it used to be. The series began with Mary Alice Young (Brenda Strong) committing suicide and has continued with her omniscient narration of her neighbors’ lives. Susan Mayer, Gabrielle Solis (Eva Longoria), Bree Van De Kamp (Marcia Cross), Edie Britt (Nicollette Sheridan) and Lynette Scavo (Felicity Huffman) were her friends on the street, Wisteria Lane. Each woman’s life and the people they interact with always have a dark secret that is usually slowly unraveled with unforeseen, shocking results.
What had the potential to be an interesting story turned into a disappointing obvious attempt at humor on this week’s episode. “Desperate Housewives” introduced their first gay couple, Bob (Tuc Watkins) and Lee (Kevin Rahm). They left the city in hopes of finding some peace in the suburbs, but Bob and Lee soon learn there is no such thing as peace on Wisteria Lane. This would appear to be an exciting addition, but it’s just blah.
Susan makes an ass of herself when she goes to meet the new neighbors. After they explain they’re gay, she replies, “I’ve seen a lot of cable so I get it.” Bob and Lee bring up Rafael, their dog, but before they can explain, Susan says, “There are three of you?” After leaving with her tail tucked between her legs, Susan decides to faux bake cookie bars for the guys, which turns out to have boring, unentertaining results because of course Lee can’t eat nuts and Susan can’t explain what’s in them. Based on her past cooking disasters, Lee should have been grateful she bought the cookies.
It seems like the writers would have realized how uninteresting this plot was, but nope, they kept going. The interactions continue with Bob and Lee finding out that Susan has kidnapped their dog to befriend them. Here’s where the plot becomes surprising. Just kidding! Nothing attention-grabbing happens with this storyline, except that it supports the fact that this show is becoming a complete bore. The writers must have run out of ideas because Susan versus the gays is no where near comical.
Edie Britt, the neighborhood hoe, finally got it, crabs. According to Edie, who is known for her manipulation, she got them from a tanning bed. Edie gave it to Carlos Solis (Ricardo Antonio Chavira) who gave it to his ex-wife Gabrielle who gave it to her new husband Victor Lang (John Slattery). Gaby gets rid of Victor’s crabs without him knowing, by role playing as a sexy nurse and pouring medicated shampoo all over his body telling him it’s good for his skin as it burns. The writers did however add a little spice to this plot by inserting a silly crab cake scene at Bree Van de Kamp’s (Marcia Cross) baby shower where Edie realizes that Carlos and Gabrielle have been sleeping together after she smells Victor’s weird but familiar body fragrance/medicated shampoo. Edie is no idiot so there is absolutely no surprise when she figures out what has happened. A waiter passes out mini crab cakes to all of the people infected in the order in which they got it, and Edie puts two and two together, literally, thus proving that crabs can be funny.
Although this scene is comical, it is so “Desperate Housewives” first season. The first season was entertaining, but viewers have come to expect fancier storylines. As each season passes, the plots should get more intricate and intense. Maybe “Desperate Housewives” should take some notes from “Nip/Tuck.” They seem to know how keep each season from becoming stale.
As always on “Desperate Housewives,” new characters mean new secrets.
What is Bob and Lee’s secret? Will Susan ever be accepted by “the gays”? What evil plan will Edie concoct, now that she knows about Carlos and Gabrielle’s affair? Will the answers be as lame as this season’s plots? Hopefully they won’t be because the “Desperate Housewives” timeslot is turning into the perfect opportunity to call it a night.